"You're from Venus? No, I'm from Earth..."

“You’re from Venus? No, I’m from Earth..."

You've heard the famous saying that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus", but exactly what does this mean? Is it perhaps because of a belief that women and men use different language? Many theorists, such as Robin Lakoff, have argued that there is a huge difference in how different genders use their language. For instance, Lakoff states that women use hedges which is when you add lines such as "well" , "you know" and "kind of" and insinuates that they're not being assertive and trying to show politeness however other theorists with similar views, such as Deborah Tannen, shows the idea that men see language as a way to assert dominance. In some ways, I do agree with some of these points, as Tannen says, the change begins in childhood, however I'd argue that this is not because of the sex we were born as but because of the society we grew up in. This is proven extensively if we just observe each gender and the way in which they were brought up. For example, if you were brought up in much rougher parts of cities such as London, both genders are likely to use colloquial language, especially the youth, as it's almost like their culture. Janet Hyde's 'Gender Similarities Hypothesis' sates that these language differences are due to other factors such as age, class, ethnicity etc which supports the idea that gender is not relevant to our speech. Which makes much more sense than someone speaking another form of language just because one's a women and another a man. 

The argument that males and females use language differently made by many theorists seems outdated, especially in this generation where gender equality is basically seen as the norm. Much more recent theories, explain how through history the idea of language differences has drastically changed and the only reason as to why many believed in these was due to the sexist mindset that people, even females who were mainly prejudiced against, held. Due to this, what theorist like Lakoff said seemed like reality as women had no choice but to be less dominant then men or choose to be an outcast. But as people have become more aware and less restrictions are placed on females and how they should act, both genders can share one language without causing controversy. Just as the theory made by Jenny Cheshire in 1982, from a young age the speech between boys and girls have differed but we should remind ourselves that this was in the 80s where women were still expected to stay in the kitchen. So maybe in the past there was a difference in they way a man uses his language and a women but in this day and age we are able to share and use language in a personal way to reflect ourselves and not our bodies.

But you could continue to argue that women still follow Lakoff’s ideas. For instance, a recent study carried out by the scientist, Baxter, showed that many women suffered from men “hepeating” their ideas in a staff meetings so refrained from saying much in fear of having their thought being belittled because she’s a female but having it be praised when a man says it again, but differently. And let’s not forget the gender word of 2017 ‘mansplain’ which forces women to stay quiet as the men show off their dominant attitude and immediately pin women to these outdated theories of a women’s language. Because uneducated people who still don’t understand that we know that giving birth is definitely, certainly equivalent to a kick in the balls! 

But seriously. You’re not from Mars and I’m not from Venus. I think that language is something which an individual can use as way to express feelings and emotions and, just as theorist showed, it’s about where we are from and the culture and traditions of the place we grew up in as well as the circumstances under which we have lived our whole lives. This is what makes the greatest impact on the way we use our language to communicate these days and not whether you’re a man and I’m women.